


Group Chats are Lame

by Owls_Teddies_Confetti_Oh_My



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Barely Anyone Is Cis, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Chatting & Messaging, Demisexual Hunk, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gang Violence, Gay Keith (Voltron), Haggar is called Honerva, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, In Some Way Of Shape Or Form, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Lesbian Pidge, M/M, Only mentioned in like a future chapter, Pansexual Shiro (Voltron), Slice of Life, another group chat fic because ive been binging, bisexual allura, gay coran, ill tag more when i can think, likewise, no one is straight, sorta - Freeform, the lions are cats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 17:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11925597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owls_Teddies_Confetti_Oh_My/pseuds/Owls_Teddies_Confetti_Oh_My
Summary: Yet another group chat fic. Where Pidge wants a girlfriend, Allura loves gossip, Coran is the only adult, Shiro is Tired, Hunk is literal sunshine, Keith owns twenty knives, and Lance needs to make better life choices.





	Group Chats are Lame

**Author's Note:**

> Here we have Pidge being too gay to function and Lance having the worst adoptive uncle.

**sharkboy(** @Lance_Garcia **) has created a group chat: {{ The Space Gang }}**

 

**sharkboy has added sporkthepork(** @Hunk_Levaopolo **), saltblock(** @Katie_Holt **), mcnuggetking(** @Takashi_Shirogane **), princessmuscles(** @Allura_Smythe **), and thegorgeousman(** @Coran_Smythe **)**

 

**sharkboy** : the gangs all here!

**mcnuggetking** : Lance...

**sharkboy** : asdkljajlfka fine

 

**sharkboy has added knifelover(** @Keith_Geyong **)**

 

**sharkboy** : there happy?

**mcnuggetking** : Better.

**knifelover** : what is this?

**saltblock** : our worst nightmare come true

**princessmuscles** : Oh hush Pidge, I told Lance a group chat would be a wonderful idea. Help us all to strengthen our friendships.

**knifelover** : so this is your fault?

**sharkboy** : dude dont be mean

**sharkboy** : allura just wanted a gc to share her selfies in one go

**princessmuscles** : Why must you expose me like this?

**sporkthepork** : so is this only exclusively for alluras selfies or can we post our own or...

**princessmuscles** : You can do whatever you like Hunk. But before anything I need to christen this chat.

**princessmuscles** : [wHAMBAMHOTDAMN.img]

**sharkboy** : iM LIVING OMFG ALLURA, MY QUEEN, MY EMPRESS, MY LITERAL GODDESS L O O K A T Y O U

**mcnuggetking** : Allura you look very nice in that dress.

**saltblock** : lmao ur thirst is showing lance

**saltblock** : but yeah allura you look banging

**sporkthepork** : are those earrings new? Ive never seen you wear them before

**princessmuscles** : They are! Thank you for noticing Hunk.

**thegorgeousman** : My daughter is precious and I love her.

**sharkboy** : agreed

**knifelover** : hey coran.

**knifelover** : i like your nails in the picture allura. sharp enough to cut a man.

**princessmuscles** : Thank you Keith!

**saltblock** : oh god someone murder me

**mcnuggetking** : First off that's my line. Second, why?

**sporkthepork** : oh no! Pidge whats wrong buddy???

**knifelover** : who do I have to stab?

**saltblock** : me stab me

**saltblock** : that really cute girl from the mall directory just walked into the flower shop and im dying squirtle

**thegrogeousman** : That young lady with the brightly colored hair and weird, armed backpack?

**sharkboy** : oooooh luki came by!!! thats awesome pidge

**saltblock** : not awesome!! she asked me for flowers that meant fuck you and I just stood there like an i d i o t

**saltblock** : my only saving grace was when ryner came and helped me out

**saltblock** : i swear that woman is a saint

**sharkboy** : ryner saved ur ass once more also wtf did luki need flowers like that for???

**saltblock** : dunno i was too busy being gay to ask

**sporkthepork** : you know pidge you should really just ask her out already

**saltblock** : like a seriously cool chick like her would ever go out with a nerd like me

**princessmuscles** : Oh don't be so down on yourself Pidge! You're absolutely lovely.

**mcnuggetking** : Yeah Pidge, you're really smart and very talented. I'm sure she'd love to be with you.

**saltblock** : youre just saying that cause youre like my space parents

**princessmuscles:** Please never imply I'm a parent ever again.

**mcnuggetking:** I'm not just saying that Pidge, I meant it and so did Allura.

**mcnuggetking** : Also please never call us parents again, I'm too young to be a dad.

**saltblock** : okay but like you two are the only other adults besides coran and hes the space uncle

**knifelover** : why are you putting space in front of the words?

**sporkthepork** : cause allura and shiro are both astrophysics majors and coran used to work for nasa

**thegorgeousman** : That is true!

**sharkboy** : plus their the only ones that type w proper grammar which is funny lmao

**knifelover** : *they're

**sharkboy** : *fuck you

**saltblock** : quit flirting im having a gay crisis

**sharkboy** : not flirting but okay

**sporkthepork** : where are you pidge?

**saltblock** : omw home from work and trying not to scream on the bus

**sporkthepork** : want me to make you some peanutbutter pancakes?

**saltblock** : pls I will love you forever

**sharkboy** : I thought u already loved him forever

**saltblock** : ill love him even more then

**knifelover** : shiro dont be mad but I just broke your bottle of sephora.

**mcnuggetking** : **_You what_**.

**knifelover** : im sorry i was looking for a brush you shouldnt have left it so close to the edge of your dresser.

**sharkboy** : lmao shiros mad

**mcnuggetking** : Keith you have three seconds to get me a new one before I punt you into the sun.

**knifelover** : please. just end my existence already.

**sporkthepork** : that was a very shiro thing to say

**thegorgeousman** : Does anyone want to meet me for coffee? I was going to convince Blaytz, Trigel, and Gyrgan to join me but it seems they're all busy at a meeting with Alfor.

**sharkboy** : im down! you still have to finish telling me that one story about allura pissing herself in the middle of kindergarten

**saltblock** : allura did wHAT

**princessmuscles** : CORAN YOU TRAITOR.

**thegorgeousman** : Look at the time I must go, Lance I'll meet you at our usual spot. Bye!

 

**sharkboy** : lmao peace you guys im gonna go get coffee and blackmail on allura 

 

**princessmuscles** : I'm going to brutally murder both of them.

**knifelover** : no just coran i called dibs on murdering lance first.

**saltblock** : more like kissing him first

**knifelover** : i know where you live pidge.

**sporkthepork** : im with pidge on this 

**knifelover** : hunk no. what is this betrayal?

**sporkthepork** : sorry bud but pidge is stating some mad truth there :/

**princessmuscles** : I'm thirding Pidge's observation. 

**knifelover** : i hate this fucking family.

**mcnuggetking** : No you don't. You have an entire corkboard dedicated to 'this fucking family'.

**princessmuscles** : Aw! Keith that's so cute!!

**saltblock** : #exposed

**knifelover** : why this?

 

\----

 

 

**sharkboy** : i want to mcfucking die

**sporkthepork** : what why? do i have to fight someone??

**sharkboy** : coran maybe

**princessmuscles** : What, why?

**thegorgeousman** : I said I was sorry!

**sharkboy** : that really cute girl from the conspiracy club was at the coffee house and coran made me snort coffee out of my nose in front of her

**knifelover** : ha!

**saltblock** : cute girl? you mean plaxum?

**sharkboy** : shut up keith!!

**sharkboy** : yes i mean plaxum i want to cry

**sporkthepork** : itll be okay buddy

**mcnuggetking** : I'm sure Plaxum understands that it was an accident Lance.

**princessmuscles** : Coran, what did you do to make Lance snort coffee?

**thegorgeousman** : I told him about the time you caught me and Alfor in bed when you were six!

**sporkthepork** : eW

**saltblock** : oh god poor allura

**knifelover** : i think i felt part of my brain cells die

**princessmuscles** : But what was wrong with that?

**princessmuscles** : WAIT.

**mcnuggetking** : I crave death. Why did I have to read that with my own two eyes.

**princessmuscles** : OH GOOD GOD WHY.

**sharkboy** : suffer with me

**thegorgeousman** : Oh hush, all of you! Like you haven't done the same with Shiro, Allura.

**princessmuscles** :No, please, don't talk about my sex life oh God.

**mcnuggetking** : Please, don't Coran.

**thegorgeousman** : Fine! Also I have to go your father's back and he looks stressed. Bye!

**princessmuscles** : I'm going to barf.

**saltblock** : brb im gonna pour bleach into my eyes

**sporkthepork** : same

**sporkthepork** : can we go back to laughing at pidge and lance for being awkward around girls?

**sharkboy** : can you blame us? girls are so pretty

**saltblock** : they really are

 


End file.
